Finding what we love about others in ourselves
For My Nana
This is a post about manaakitanga and the woman who showed it to me by living it.
There was always a meal when you came for a visit.
It didn’t matter whether or not your were expected.
Food on the stove, in the cupboards, and in the fridge. Me, my sissy, my cousins, and aunties, all loved being there and were always met with love.
She gave to each of us.
She could see each of us in our own light.
She made each of us feel loved. Known. In a way that you could see fueled her.
That was her manaakitanga.
Fiercely generous.
Warm, strong, practical.
Always there.
She was strong. Tough when she needed to be.
She took pride in herself: how she looked, how she moved through the world.
She was beautiful. The kind of beauty that comes from knowing who you are.
At 50, she got her teaching degree.
She became a high school Māori language teacher, and in her own unique way, she helped to revive te reo Māori.
That was her generosity: her impact reaching forward, into future generations.
She’s gone now. And gosh, I love and miss her.
But her mana is still here.
In the way I host.
In the way I love.
In the way I care for others and myself.
For her manaakitanga, her fierce love, her soft presence, her big-hearted kitchen.
For the kind of leadership that doesn’t need a title.
Just a table, a stove, and open arms.
Ka aroha au ki a koe, Nana.
Always.
Ritual
Find a place that inspires you. Sometimes I like to go to this bar in the city. It has a big open window and I can see the people traffic walking by. I love to imagine where they are going and this is a place I love to visit and imagine.
Think of someone that deeply inspires you - there are no rules, so it doesn’t have to be someone you know personally. What are the memories, moments or stories. Write them all down.
An invitation to go deeper with these reflection prompts:
What are the qualities that you see in them that you value most? How do these align with what is most important to you?
Where do you see these qualities and values in yourself and your own journey?
What small repeatable choices could you make to move deeper into these qualities and values within yourself?
Reflect and notice any subtle changes in the way you show up over time as you move deeper into the qualities you value within yourself.
